Bathroom Anxiety

As the Good Book says: No one is perfect. We all have our quirks! Mine is using a bathroom that is in close proximity to human life!

The root of the problem lies in my childhood. Mama Melisi's house had one bathroom that was directly attached to the social hot spot - the kitchen. This made me a little self-conscious while using the bathroom, when people were on the other side of the wall! Hence, bathroom strategies were a must!

We didn't have that wonderful, modern convenience of a fan, so I had to rely on much more creative strategies to block any embarrassing noise!

Running the faucet at full pressure worked splendidly! No doubt, the water bill was astronomical at holidays and family gatherings! But the sound of the cascade camouflaged all other unwanted sounds from the other side...even when your digestive system was full of fresh veges!

Another excellent method was the timed flush. This worked especially well for those horrible, unexpected explosions! The sound of Mama Melisi's flush lasted a full 40 seconds, and helped disguise those quick and tidy times at the commode!

Finally, if you really wanted to throw everyone off, there was always the blow dryer placed at its highest speed. Never realizing that it was total toilet time, everyone thought you went to the bathroom, took a shower and washed your hair in less than ten minutes!

Once in a while, unfamiliar bathrooms will throw off even the most well developed strategies. Recently, I was visiting a cousin at the Jersey Shore. I was completely intrigued at how the air conditioning vent was located directly parallel to the toilet. Being distracted by this, I let out a gaseous emission that suddenly combined with the cool flow of air from the vent. This created such a wind tunnel, that my cold little butt was knocked completely off of the john!

Luckily, I come from a long line of considerate relatives. I sheepishly made my way to the first floor, and was spared, as no one mentioned the loud thump from above!

To give you a true bathroom challenge, the recipe this week is Pasta Fagiole. This is pronounced pasta fa zul...and stands for pasta and beans! If you see this on a menu, it is served as a soup. You can also serve this as a main course, with a side of salad and garlic bread. Again we offer this to you with love!

From Mama Melisi and Me

Pasta Fagiole

Ingredients:

1 onion finely chopped
3 cloves of garlic chopped
1 carrot shredded
2 stalks of celery finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/4 cup of fresh parsley chopped
1/4 cup of olive oil
1 can of low sodium chicken broth
1 large can of crushed tomatoes
1 can of white cannellini beans
1 lb of ditilini, elbow, or any small pasta

Cooking Directions:

Saute the onions, celery and carrot in olive oil
After 10 minutes, add chopped garlic
Saute another 5-8 minutes
Add the crushed tomatoes, chicken broth, half cup of water, black pepper and parsley
Simmer for about 15 minutes
Add the white cannellini beans
Simmer for another 20 minutes
While this is simmering, cook pasta
Combine bean mixture with drained pasta
If sauce is too thick, you can add a little water